Dry Ice

I never took chemistry. I somehow avoided it and regretfully don't know much more than the idea of it. Today in the mail, came a box filled with dry ice and buffalo meat, a gift sent to Parker for his birthday. I was more excited about the dry ice, as I placed it into a plastic cup, given free to me at the Big Texan from Amarillo, TX. The clouds of vapor were swaying whichever way I directed them too.

After a while I wanted to figure out how to take the really big piece and make it "smoke." With excitement, I threw the largest piece into a metal mixing bowl. Parker, worried and trying to change my mind, did not speak fast enough. As soon as I tossed the block in, it started violently reacting with the metal in the bowl, sending vibrations through my hands up to my arms. Trying to control my laughter, and not cause any harm, I tossed the ice right back into its container.

I wish I knew more about chemistry. But earlier this morning, I wished I had more mystery. So I'll accept the mystery for now, and allow the spontaneous reaction to become real. It is still incredible to know that the chemistry which exists in our world, involves strong reactions.

It was a history lesson

so they peeled the dried skin off the rocks

and found little diamonds made of water

while feeling like thieves.

And before they knew it

they were dark skinned and frail

realizing that beauty didn't mean pleasure

and much to their dismay

hard didn't mean sweet.

Instead of wandering

they had found their mates

and hid away

even though what they were doing

was no secret.

Was it important to see?

Important to hear?

Well, it was

easy to pretend

and to find a stranger

knowing that they weren't a stranger at all.

don't forget why there is science

I feel like writing. I'm in Los Angeles, CA and I've been living here for a little over two months. I'm finding that a lot of people here like to decorate their home with inspiration from Zen Buddhism, and feel the need to connect with some form of Eastern spirituality. Except, they like the materials and the image of the idea, rather than the purpose.

While currently unemployed, I have indulged in two readings, Sophie's World and The Scientists: A history of science told through the lives of the greatest inventors. I'm learning the development of "European" philosophy and science, and the creators of these subjects. In my lense, they are inspiring individuals with extreme creativity and passion for purity in thought, through reason and curiosity. These are the fathers of philosophy, math, astronomy and more to come, and they seem just as "Christ-like" as any other spiritual figure. My particular communication goal is to put clearly the fact that science and philosophy were set forth with good, honest intention. Unfortunately, through some force of "evil," it has been manipulated and abused by groups such as Pharmaceutical companies, Nuclear chemists etc.

The concrete goals for thought such as how does the universe work, where does an idea come from, and nature vs. nurture, were created through method and specific people searching for meaning. I think it is unwise to appreciate or not appreciate an idea, without understanding how it came to be, and the people that played rolls in a historical evolution.

Soup

I love Pho.

Especially when I am sick --- today I feel itchy and achy in every region above my neck.

Unfortunately I woke up and ate a bagel with lox so I'm not hungry enough for Pho yet, but I know as soon as I indulge it is going to make me feel a whole lot better (I am Jewish and Scandinavian. There is no way I can not love smoked salmon).

I've been dreaming very vividly for the past two months, and using it to write poetry. Here's the poem I wrote after waking up this morning:

I was on a train

the kind that circled around a tree

the passengers weren't all human

but a replica of Martin Luther King Jr was there.

So Oprah turned it into a game

and we didn't care because she was rich

and when we returned to school

with fat wallets and wet hair

the cupcakes weren't a surprise

in fact they were forgotten.

The search was to find money

and put it into the right order.

You couldn't leave the room with your stash

but out was where the bowl was

the bowl promised to be filled with the most cash.

But, leaving your money inside, while you were out

gave others the opportunity to snatch.

My dad knew where the bowl was

inside the maracas in the garage.

Peeling open the packaging I found just a toy mouse inside

and we laughed for having easily found it

watching all the paranoid players

taking the risk

to find something

that wasn't even there.

Hmm

If night was day and day was night, they would have different words but they would be the same thing. I need to see the sameness in everything and it might portray not only the ambiguity of language, but the real connections of images and energy.

SLUTBAGGGG

Can we please stop selling our bodies to sell records. Considering most people who care about you are in the 10-14 age bracket. Let alone the fact that you shape our culture in ways you might not ever think about. Thanksssssssss.

I openly blame Madonna (this does not mean I do not like her music). However, Lady Gaga, you make me vomit.

Battle: Influence VS Reality

I am so easily influenced. But, aren't we all? I don't know. Being an "extremist," I might change at a faster rate than average.

As a female in my twenties, my perspective is constantly developing. But it's fascinating how easily I can contradict my own thoughts. And how reality can shift unconsciously, subconsciously, whatever...

Throughout time, we have evolved from a reaction to our changing environment. And as highly re-active human beings it's to no surprise that we are easily altered by a change, any kind of change really. It's funny when you come to realize how quickly your own perceptions can become completely different than before. And once you are conscious of how easily that happens, you can make better choices in what you want to believe. BUT - it's all truth.

This can be seen at a macroscopic and microscopic level. Think about a food add. You probably didn't want a cheeseburger before you saw it slide (or flop) on that sesame bun. Instantaneously, you want a damn burger. Or when you look at a painting, a good film, all of a sudden you may see a different reason for existence that you never saw before. And how that one stroke has influenced your thoughts, on a very big level, at almost a blink of an eye. It happens fast, and in my opinion almost seamlessly. Our environment can so readily shape our immediate needs as well as our larger philosophical, spiritual beliefs.

So what does that say about human beings in general? Are we intellectual sluts? Waiting for the next big mental bang?

I can't tell if I'm becoming an existentialist or what, but I feel like we have the choice to believe whatever we want to believe, and reality can be very individualistic. But ultimately, does it matter? And are the vast array of beliefs really that different? Is there one common goal?

A form of release?

I'm confused again.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: If our brains are so easily influenced by truth, what is true truth? Or is it all just a story?

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

2 SIDES

Why are we conscious?

The brain, the center of our nervous system. The

center of our bodies universe - a two sided, highly complex organ.

There are two sides to everything.

Balance exists.

Reeeleeaaseee

Standing on line at whole foods I stopped, and heard dozens of scanners, carts rolling, cans falling, people chatting, anxious energy and eyes all around. We are constantly overstimulated.

Unfortunately, I've been dealing with shoulder issues for the past two weeks and while there are many reasons for my shoulder problems, it's quite obvious that the constant chaos of modern life sure doesn't help the situation either.

My biggest challenge is to take that intensity and stress OUT of my body, where it stores, and builds, until it effects my head and continues to rotate and destruct --particularly in my shoulders. Whether we are aware of it or not, our body reacts to this perfect pandemonium.

So I say RELEEAASSEEEEE. I try and feel it and see it and BE it. I know, it sounds cheesy but to me its real right now and true. When you're feeling anxious or overstimulated, or not, slowly say to yourself RELEEAAASSEEE with a big looonnng yummy exhale.

Have a smooth Sunday!

Bad Coffee

I'm drinking a latte*, prepared by a coffee-mate espresso machine bought at a tag-sale, spring 2009, in Somerville, Massachusetts. While it was only a five dollar expense**, buying a 10 dollar italian stove top espresso maker would have probably been a better investment. And yet, I'm hooked on the strength of espresso - and a queen of procrastination. Why do we put up with bad coffee? It is the beginning*** of our day and should be filled with satisfaction, warmth, and depth. But being a student, lacking funds for a top of the line espresso machine, I'll just say fug it and tomorrow I'll go for a detox tea! Its better for you anyways!

This one happens to be my favorite:

Have a stupendous Saturday!

*Mug bought in the Adirondack's town of Long Lake at Hoss's Country Store- great store, great buy.

** This happens to be the exact one

http://www.espressomachinesprice.com/Mr--Coffee-ECM20-Steam-Espresso-Maker.php

*** Beginning is relative.

The Blogging World

(Eagle Nebula taken by Hubble)

For some reason, I woke up this afternoon - woops - and decided it was time*. I was going to enter the blogging world. Not with the expectations that people would want to read it, but if anything, a push to start writing. Plus, the freedom we have to share ideas infinitely is, for lack of a better word, AMAZING (also somewhat horrifying)! And today, I'd like to be apart of that world. I can't promise I will want to tomorrow...

BUT! Here I am NOW!

I'm not sure if my blogging will have an organizational pattern or focus - suspiciously similar to my dear life. I will tell you that I student teach 2nd and 3rd grade, I love to cook, and play in a band called That Old Feelin'. I am also a new Yogi. So, you can bet your bottom dollar that posts will be about reflections and or revelations about those four aspects of my life!

Enough about me.

I'm going to start my first post with a strong suggestive gesture. Listen to Lissie: http://www.myspace.com/lissiemusic

The smokey voice, folky/pop guitar and chord progressions really do it for me. But most of all -- it's the freckles. Unfortunately it doesn't look like she's coming above the Mason-Dixon line anytime soon. So for now, I'll just have to be logical and do what everyone does in the year 2010, watch her on you-tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Z6QG1JzaF0

* Time is somewhat irrelative considering we're made up of stars - but you get the idea.